Column: Whisky in China, in a Most Peculiar Way

Some memories are too good not to share. Let me take you to an unusual day, sometime in 2006.

It’s half past six in the morning, yawn... We wake up in the heart of Beijing, 2006. We’re on holiday, and if you’re visiting China, you simply must see the Great Wall. We’re not just popping up for a photo either: our plan is to hike 10 kilometers of the Wall’s staggering 21,000 kilometers.

After a quick breakfast, a minibus with a guide picks us up. We won’t be alone today; the bus fills up with two other Dutch couples (one on their honeymoon) and an American couple. The guide warns us to settle in. It’s a three-hour drive, so we get comfortable.

Our driver has that quintessential Chinese driving style: he blasts his way through traffic with a blaring horn, but letting anyone cut in? Not a chance. Road markings seem purely decorative to him: bike lanes, oncoming lanes, everything’s fair game.

Add in the fact that the van squeaks and rattles like it could split in two at any moment, especially when he accelerates in second gear and you can imagine how safe we feel in his capable hands. Needless to say, we all promptly fall asleep.

After a brief pit stop (for the brave, there was a toilet), we arrive at the Wall. Turns out the Chinese are masters at charging entry fees. We have to pay twice, since we’ll pass through two different areas. There’s also a charge for the cable car, unless we’d rather hike up.

The guide also warns us there’s a bridge near the end that requires an extra fee. Well, it’s 2006 and prices are still relatively modest, so we pay up. We’re more than happy to take the rickety cable car up, plenty of walking ahead of us today.

It crawls uphill at a snail’s pace, but thankfully there are two charming attendants, one at the top and one at the bottom. Opening and closing the doors, which makes the ride that bit more pleasant. The views along the way are lovely. This is our first sight of the Wall today. What a breathtaking sight!

At the top, we follow our guide’s instructions (she doesn’t accompany us up) and head left onto the Wall. There’s no getting lost, but with some serious climbs. It starts off strong, with a few steep ascents right away.

It’s not our first time on the Wall, but this time we’re set on a proper hike. Last year we had it almost to ourselves, but today we’re joined by groups of fellow walkers, including some Japanese tourists and a handful of local hawkers eager to sell us water, iced tea, cola, or beer. We’re not falling for it we stocked up on water at the supermarket!

About halfway through, our small water bottles run dry, so we decide to refill them from the big 2-liter bottle we’ve been lugging around. One of the local vendors watches us with a grin. It’s hot, so we’re gulping it down. I take a big swig and... almost spit it right back out!

That is definitely not water! On closer inspection, it even smells like alcohol. Sure enough, the label, amid a sea of Chinese characters, says: 42% Vol. Whisky. Right. They sell it here in regular water bottles, stocked next to the drinking water in little shops, and priced about the same. We’ve hauled two liters of whisky up the Wall! No wonder that vendor was laughing as we poured.

Our pride keeps us from buying water from her, but a little further on we cave and grab some iced tea. That gets us to the finish. The second half is easier anyway, cooler thanks to a breeze, and mostly downhill. At the end we have to cross the much-heralded bridge. It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, pretty rickety-looking, but we make it across and tackle one last climb to reach the end of our route.

We still have a steep one-kilometer descent back to the bus. In hindsight, we should’ve taken the zipline next to it. We vow never to speak of our water fiasco again, but our fellow travelers saw everything, so that plan’s a bust. Ever since, we’ve been known as “those Dutch folks who carried two liters of whisky up the Wall.”

If you’re planning a trip to China, we can wholeheartedly recommend walking the Wall. The route can be demanding, with some tough climbs, but it’s by far the best way to grasp the sheer scale and majesty of this colossal structure. Just make sure you bring the right bottle for the road...

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